1. Monologue Jokes 6.6

    A classified court order leaked late Wednesday night that directs a Verizon company to turn over phone logs to the National Security Agency. The NSA is investigating whether Tina really did try to call them back.

    84-year-old Gloria Mackenzie of Florida came forward as the lucky winner of the $590 million Powerball jackpot. Mrs. Mackenzie said she’s going to invest the money wisely and bring Matlock back to life.

    A Google patent suggests users may be asked to pull a range of facial expressions to act as a password. For maximum security you’re encouraged to use at least one angry face and one funny face.

    Artifacts from the lost Egyptian city of Heracleion have been discovered after spending 1,200 years underwater. Among the ruins are statues, tablets, and thousands of sets of ancient keys.

    Justin Bieber is one of several international celebrities signed up for Virgin Galactic’s trip to space. Richard Branson said he hopes the ship will function perfectly, and never return.

    Volunteers in Brunete, Spain are picking up after irresponsible dog-owners and sending them their dog’s poop in the mail. Said the dogs, “Hey, I’ve been looking for that!”

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